the final countdown

This school year is known for being a rush, however, I didn't really figure out how fast it goes until I realized there are less than two months left.

I started 2nd Batxillerat really motivated, ready to prepare myself for university and selectivitat, but I've reached a point where rather than enthusiastic for learning I'm just eager to finish this course. I do like what we're studying, some subjects more than others, yet I feel like I'm just working to pass this torture with good marks and be able to get into a good university. Some content just doesn't interest me and some other is just useless for what I want to study.

Sometimes I find myself in the middle of a class wondering how windy is it outside and if I'd be able to sail. It's not that I no longer want to study, it's just that I ask myself why am I doing it. The answer seems clear to me when I think of myself being an architect of success, enjoying a grade that despite being tough will lead me through a new world and will introduce me to a new view of life, a new circle of people, a new lifestyle... However, other occasions I feel pessimistic and I have the temptation of giving up, just finish this two months and then do something creative, something that doesn't require to study, something that just fills me...

All this reflection may suggest that I'm not really enjoying these days, in fact, I've had better times than two weeks with exams every day... I guess this disenchantment is nothing but the result of stress and tiredness mixed with the fears of leaving high school and moving to a new city, with a new community, the doubts of choosing a path in life... the fears to a dramatic change (to better I hope) in my life.