HYPOCRISY
A: Gladis, Gladis!
Gladis: What is it my Sir? (mexican accent, clumsy noises in the background)
A: Clumsy maid… I told you I was going to need the car this morning, why is it not ready?
Gladis: I’m sorry my Sir, I had to- (interruption)
A: It’s OK, next time you’re fired. Call a taxi.
(The taxi has arrived)
Taxi driver: Where are we going? (redneck voice)
A: Actually, I am going, you just drive… to Harrods, quickly! (disgusted voice)
(pause)
A: I’ve got an appointment with my fellow B. It’s been years since we last met... Last time we saw each other he was suffering a terrible course of some member of the club... his nose operation went wrong and his face was an absolute disaster….
Taxi driver: Such a drama...
A: Oh absolutely!, because he used to… (taxi driver speaks over A, with an irritated voice)
Taxi driver: It’s OK, we’re here. 28 pounds please.
A: Where’s that slubberdegullion?, always late....
B: A! I’m here. (B had been around there since A stepped out of the taxi)
A: Oh my goodness! You look so gorgeous I didn’t recognize you at first.
B: You look fabulous too my dear, are those new chin implants?
A: Indeed they are.
B: Oh, how jealous I am! They look wonderful on you!
A: I know. But what about your forehead?! What’s happened here?
B: Oh, you know that amazing plastic surgeon who has operated Kim Kardashian, don’t you?
A: Of course I do.
B: Well, I got an engagement with him, don’t ask how, and he injected me some quality Botox to highlight my previous nose job.
A: That nose job was perfect, wasn’t it?
B: Of course, I only spend my money with professionals.
A: With whom if not? (little pause) Oh, did you see what happened to C for not going with experts?
B: Yep, I did… How horrible!!! (with beaming voice)
(both laughing)
A: Oh my... that was a complete disaster! She will burn with envy when she sees us!
B: She’s already jealous of us.
A: You think so?
B: Definitely
A: Because…
B: Because I told her about this appointment and she was green with envy that she couldn’t join us!
A: We didn’t invite her anyway
B: That’s why I told her not to come!
A: You’re so bad… I love it!
B: Ouhmm, let’s drink some tea, I’ve heard about a very chic café right at at the top of the mall.
(At the café. There’s a woman of their age in another table sitting alone)
A: Look at that woman over there.
B: Oh my… how she dares to go out in the street, with such wrinkles?
A: How disgusting, a kid could see her and get a trauma.
B: That’s why I visit my surgeon everytime I get a wrinkle.
A: Oh, I can see it in your face, so fabulous!
B: Like you my dear, that’s why everyone loves us.
A: Of course they do!
B: People like her will end up alone... forever!
A: Hahaha! Absolutely right, let’s drink a toast. For our beauty!
(Suddenly a man arrives and kisses the woman with wrinkles and sits with her. They look happy)
B: Look at that woman again!
A: That’s not possible! How can that man be with her?!
B: She has to be filthy rich, otherwise there’s no explanation...
A: Well, honey... money can give you everything. That’s how our sick society works, doesn’t it?
B: Couldn’t agree more… the world is going to hell.
(half an hour later)
B: Well A, it’s been a pleasure to be with you. Now I have to go.
A: Yeah me too, thanks for your time. Hope to see you soon my dear!
B: Kisses to all your beautiful family, I’ll miss you.
A: We stay in touch!
(B’s limousine arrives, his butler Ambrosio is driving)
Ambrosio: How was the meeting my Sir?
B: I don’t pay you to ask me questions!
(little pause)
B: Well, you know, how much I hate A… but I have to be nice with him if I want his father to sell me his estates.
Ambrosio: That’d be a fine business
B: Of course Ambrosio, what did you expect from me? Well, A has always been quite ugly, but now… oh my gosh! his new implants make him look so horrible I wanted to escape.
Ambrosio: She should learn from my Sir...
B: You’re right! That fat old fool is so jealous of me.
(some minutes later)
Ambrosio: We’re home.
B: Finally… I just want to relax… I worked so hard today.
Ambrosio: I’ll be all the night working in the garden, see you tomorrow.
B: Excellent! Oh… if A rings, just tell him I’m not here… for the next five months!
